Author Carole Shields writes in Unless, her last novel before her death in 2003, that ‘Happiness is the lucky pane of glass you carry in your head.  It takes all your cunning to hang on to it, and once it’s smashed, you have to move into a different sort of life.’

This pane of glass represents our illusions – and like glass, all these illusions are fragile.  And if we have been hanging on to this plane of glass which is almost on the floor; it may be time to let go.

It is easy to imagine how wonderful it was when we first had this person.  And how we must have revelled in the good qualities which were such a contrast with perhaps other people whom we had met earlier.

And we had taken our own life into our own hands for the sake of our love.  But no matter how self sufficient we all can be, like every one else, we long to be loved.  And be loved well.

So why cling to someone who has hurt us many times over and is still capable of doing so regardless of circumstances?

Why do we allow ourselves to evade from our true feelings and cover up the tumultuous emotions that had grappled us into permanent paralysis and emotional numbness?

How someone treats us reveals a person’s innate character.  And there seem to be a revealing clot, an obstruction, a cloudiness to an otherwise transparent glass.

Perhaps we feel in our heart that the person did not sufficiently stand by us at what prolly must have been a very difficult time.  And that has roots in events that happened earlier. 

I’m afraid this person will shatter us more than he is hurting us now.

All the signs are there:  let’s stop clinging on to our illusions and read them. 

There is still strong love, and that’s why we are still clinging on.  But our long-term happiness may actually be achieved by letting that person go – not for his sake, but to release us into the different life we truly deserve.


Before you can treasure it, a good part of your life is over. Flashback the last 10 years, and you realized what a waste it had been. What have you given to the people who matter? What happiness did you achieve for yourself?

I know myself now. I would rather trade all the riches and achievements in my life, for someone I could care for and share my life with, and in return, that person does the same for me. Life will be so much more sweeter and worth treasuring.


Hey, where have the stars gone?

They’re on my neck.  On my wrists …  And I think there’s one behind my ear, too

Show me … I can’t see them.

Really?  Are you sure?

Yes ….


Incarceration

11Aug08

I do not agree with what you have to say but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it.

Voltaire ( 1694 – 1778 )

It was then the darkest period of French history when Voltaire came out strong against the corrupted ancien regime; advocating freedom of religion and championing individual rights.

Fast forward to today, it has been more than two centuries since Voltaire made that statement at the heights of the French Revolution and the Enlightenment Period.  However, I never knew that this famous political statement by this important figure has its relevance to an emotive conundrum that many would had faced in their course of life’s treasured experiences.

Certainly many amongst us are experiencing or at least, had some experience being in a relationship with a significant other.  Though there are times when life seems to be in a never-ending eternal bliss, there will be times when the relationship will eventually succumb to tiffs, disagreements and sometimes full-blown verbal and physical arguments.

It is then do we realise : am I really the compatible person for my partner?  Many a time, the impetus to disagreements is a consequent of differing opinions that each of us believes in.  More importantly, it is how steadfast each of us hold on to our beliefs that we forget to compromise, even with someone whom we dearly love (or at least claim to love).

So how can we learn to accept our partners’ set of beliefs and principles that is diametrically opposite of ours and risk getting hurt in the process?  How do we vehemently disagree with their words and actions yet adamantly agree with their right to act and speak in such a manner?

Its true they say, we may approve or disprove.

And they also say, we should be more preoccupied with understanding how other people think, and why they think that way.

I do know that I will enter every relationship with an open heart and mind.

However, more importantly, I am not ready to sacrifice my individuality for the sake of understanding others and allowing my own principles to be trampled upon all in the name of love.

Perhaps I’ll defend everything my future partner has to say and respect the differing opinions from mine.

After all, I couldn’t possibly fathom the idea of being with someone who is so similar to me.

It would be incredibly boring.

But I would have my bitch-slap hand ready too.  Just in case I may need to raise it up to quieten down an excessively dissenting voice.


He wants to live in pink marble palaces,

Full of stairways for his sleepless nights.

Hanging gardens suspended in time,

Where lovers can be together.

He wants love that is pure and perfect,

In the depth of the distant horizons.

To bite into the zest of the ideal,

He wants beginnings without ends.

He wants so many things,

To overturn the sky.

Eyelids half-closed,

The spark …

He wants so many things,

To dream his life …

In a dream of a life.

To cross the sky,

To leave the shore …